Stranded
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: A mixture of Drawn Together, Survivor, and the Stranded skits on 'The Amanda Show'. The Marauders and the girls are stranded in a department store for 100 days? Will they make it?
1. The Show Begins

Title: Stranded

Summary: A mixture of Drawn Together, Survivor, and the Stranded skits on 'The Amanda Show'. The Marauders and the girls are stranded in a department store for 100 days? Will they make it?

Thanks to blackangel04 for the idea. I'm thinking this is going to end up being T. For safety. And, maybe some swearing, though it might be censored, but probably only the F-Bomb, because that's the only word I won't type. Any questions, just ask. Any flames shall be used to warm the department store, because we all know it's going to get cold in there.

Chapter 1: The Show Begins

The Marauders and the four girls were heading to The Leaky Cauldron, for a post-Quidditch celebration. Granted, less people were going to be there, but that was kind of the reason for choosing The Leaky Cauldron. And, of course only Gen and James were excited about the win.

"Did you SEE that save?" Gen asked excitedly.

"I know! That was cool, you have to admit it. Even if you don't like Quidditch."

The other six rolled their eyes in unison. Remus opened his mouth to say something when a black limo pulled up beside them and several big, burly men hopped out, stuffing them all inside it, with shouts of, "RAPE! SEXUAL HARASSMENT!" coming from the girls and Sirius.

"HE TOUCHED ME INNAPROPRIATELY!" Sirius shouted, hopping onto Lily's lap.

"GET OFF ME!" she shrieked, shoving him off.

"Ow! Me bum!"

"SHUT UP!" roared a voice from nowhere. The voice cleared its throat and said, "Welcome. The rules are simple. In order to dispose of the bomb implanted in your bodies -- "

"Bomb?" Peter whimpered.

The voice laughed nervously and they could hear the sound of papers rustling. Finally, they realized the voice was coming from the speakers. Duh. "Sorry about that. Wrong script." More paper rustling. "You eight have been chosen to take place in a wizarding parody of a few shows. You eight shall be broken up into teams of four, and shall spend one hundred days locked in a Muggle department store, relying on yourselves. No magic."

With that, the burly men snatched everyone's wand from them; most of them were in their owner's pockets. By the time Remus's burly guy had wrestled his wand away from him, Remus looked very violated and curled up in a ball in the corner of the limo.

"Yeeeaaah... " the voice sighed. "Anyway, the teams are: Lily, James, Remus, and Marci. Think of a name. And Gwendolyn, Celeste, Sirius, and Peter. Thank of a name, too."

"NO! I GET STUCK WITH HIM!" Gen wailed, staring at Sirius as though this were all his fault.

"Yes." the voice smirked. "More instructions will be waiting on you when you reach the store."

"This is bullshit!" Celeste shouted. "How DARE they?"

Gen was looking slightly harassed. Peter was curled up in a ball, as was Remus. Celeste was fuming. Sirius, smirking. James was grinning. Marci looked close to tears. As did Lily.

"This isn't fair!" Lily wailed.

"No, it's not!" Gen wailed, too.

"You need team names before you get to the store." one of the burly men grunted.

"Sirius and the Siri-ettes!" Sirius grinned.

"The James Potter Experience!" James laughed.

And, seeing as how they were the first things suggested, they were taken as the team names. Everyone was quiet for the rest of the ride; though the girls did shoot the occasional glare in the boys', mainly James and Sirius's, directions.

"The James Potter Experience?" Lily scoffed as he helped her out of the limo.

"Hey, you like it. Admit it."

"No! It's stupid!"

The eight of them were shoved into the department store, which was immediately padlocked behind them. Again, the voice crooned at them from the speakers, "Nice to see you all again! As I told you in the limo, you are split into teams. You will rely on your team to get you through challenges. If there is any conflict between the teammates, we will hold council. If we have to resort to it, members will be voted out."

"Can we vote Sirius out tonight?" Gen asked.

"No!" the voice scoffed. "The store is completely furnished, as you can well see. So, you will not need to go out to get supplies. I suggest you set up camp now, since you have a very busy day ahead of you. MWHAHAHAHAHA!" The voice coughed and there was a click as the intercom cut off.

"Who the hell is that?" James asked.

"And what the hell is wrong with them?" Sirius frowned.

"Where are we going to set up camp?" Lily asked with a frown.

"To... over there!" James pointed, leading his team to the electronics department. They stopped by sporting goods and got a few tents and set them up between the television area and the CD racks, curling up and falling asleep as soon as they were finished.

Sirius sent his team to the housing department, where he immediately chose the only bed that was set up on display. "Care to join me, Gen? There's enough room."

"No." she said, sounding disgusted. "I'm going to go sleep in a bathtub. So you can't get in with me."

Together, she, Celeste, and Peter grabbed several bed-in-a-bag sets and made their tubs very comfortable before getting to sleep.

The voice clicks on the speaks so only the reviewers can hear it. "So, our teams have set up their camps. What kind of challenges will they face? Who will be the first to make out? What are they going to do during the full moon? Who will get voted out? Why am I asking you? Find out, next chapter."


	2. Captains and the Search for a Phone

Stranded

No, I don't think there will be reviewer voting. But I am open to any ideas you guys may have.

Oh, and I'm going to try to make the chapters revolve around one person, but with the subplot of the others still going.

Chapter 2: Captains and the Search for a Phone

"Goooooood morning! I assume you all slept well?" the voice cooed over the intercom, ignoring the mutterings from Gen, Peter, and Celeste "Today, you need to pick team captains."

"Me!" James shouted at once, getting glared at by Lily.

"Well," Remus sighed. "There's no point in arguing with him."

"Thank you, Moony." James beamed.

"And you guys...?"

Sirius grinned and said, "I nominate me!"

Gen, Celeste, and Peter stared at him. "I think Gen should be captain." Celeste stated, matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, me too." Peter said timidly.

"WHY!" Sirius demanded. "This is an obvious attempt at mutiny!"

"It would only be mutiny if you were captain." Celeste pointed out. "Gen should be captain because you gave us the dumb-ass name."

"Oh, you guys. I'm a follower. Not a leader."

Peter looked horrified and said, "ANYTHING'S better than Sirius as a captain."

The voice heaved a very heavy sigh and said, "Come on, people! I don't have all day, you know."

"Oh, really?" James asked, glaring at the speaker. "You're just a disembodied voice. What can you do all day?"

"I am not a disembodied voice!" the voice shouted in anger. "I am a person, speaking to you from an intercom, you f—kwit!"

James looked very hurt, indeed, and said nothing for the rest of the meeting.

"I'm the captain! Don't listen to them." Sirius smirked.

"Fine." the voice sighed. "Sirius is the captain. Happy now?"

"Very much. Thank you."

"Yeah, whatever." There was the sound of paper rustling and the voice continued, "Today, team James, because I refuse to use those idiotic names, has the task of discovering a cure of cancer, without radiation. Team Sirius will have the oh-so-difficult task of putting an egg in a bucket."

"What's the prize?" Lily cut in. "I mean, in all these Muggle television shows, there's a prize."

"Well, the mini-prize for today is one person from the winning group gets to make a phone call to anyone they choose."

Gen immediately perked up. "A phone call, you say? Peter, that egg had better make it into that damn bucket!"

Peter gulped and started to shake.

At the end of the day, James's group had, somehow, managed to cure cancer in a test lab rat. Peter had failed by dropping the egg.

"PETER! IT'S JUST PUTTING AN EGG IN A DAMN BUCKET! WHAT THE F—K IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"Aaaah! Too much pressure!" Peter whined, curling up in a little ball.

One of the burly men from the night before handed a cellphone to James, who immediately passed it to Lily, who, smiling, raced off so she could make a private phone call.

'There's got to be more than one phone around here.' Gen thought, looking as though she wanted to throttle Peter.

That night, she waited until everyone was asleep and, grabbing a flashlight on the way, crept towards the office she noted when they were all shoved unceremoniously into the store the night before.

She swore as the door turned out to be locked. "Now, where's that hair care department?" she asked herself, returning to the door a few minutes later, holding a bobby pin.

The door clicked open and she crept inside the dimly lit office. The phone sat innocently on the desk.

Gen immediately pounced on it, and the disembodied voice, as James had put it, spoke, "What do you think you're doing, Moore?"

"Making a phone call. So I can get out of here." she replied innocently.

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not!"

"Yes, I am!"

"NO, YOU'RE NOT!"

"What makes you think I'm not?" Gen scoffed, picking up the phone and sitting it in her lap.

"Because!" the voice jeered. "That phone, and this office, is booby-trapped, for just such an occasion."

"Booby-trapped, yeah, right." Gen scoffed, starting to dial. As soon as her fingers touched the buttons, the phone started to smoke. Automatically, she tossed it on the floor, where it stopped, looking as innocent as it did when she walked it. "That's not a booby trap."

"This is."

"SPOOF OF INDIANA JONES?" she shouted, racing down the hall as a giant boulder came from nowhere. She jumped aside and the boulder bounced carelessly off the wall.

"Well, OK, our budgets are low. It's only styrofoam." the voice sighed sadly. "BUT DON'T TOUCH THE PHONE!"

"Fine, whatever." Gen scoffed. "I suppose next time I do, I'll be chased by midget Tiki men?"

"Yup."

"This is getting weirder and weirder."


	3. Boredom Sinks In

Stranded

Ah, gotta love the Midget Tiki Men. And the mysterious voice? Who knows, man.

I'm trying to appeal to the slashers that might be reading this, but, as you all know, I'm not a slasher.

Oh, and I'm welcome to any ideas you guys may have.

Chapter 3: Boredom Sinks In

They had not heard from the mysterious voice in a couple of days and they were all starting to get bored. And, since the voice had said there was nothing wrong with group interaction, Gen, Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus had staked out their own little place in the women's clothing department. James had done the honors of drinking a beer and had sat the bottle between the five of them.

"Spin the bottle and kiss whomever it lands on?" Remus asked, staring at the bottle. "But what if it lands on one of you?" he asked, staring at James and Sirius.

"Hey, it's not like we're going to tell anyone." Sirius said in an off-hand tone.

Remus sighed and spun the bottle, his eyes shut tightly. It landed on Lily, who brushed a light kiss against his lips, much to James's anger. Gen spun next and hers landed on James, much to Sirius's anger.

"All right, my turn!" Sirius grinned, spinning the bottle with force. It slowly stopped between Gen and James. "TRIPLE KISS!"

"That's wrong." Lily smiled.

"Very." Remus said, hopping to his feet and leaving them to their triple kiss. "Want to come with me before you're scarred for life?"

"Yeah." she laughed, accepting his hand. "I think I need to burn my retinas or something."

"I wonder where Marci, Celeste, and Peter are?" he asked himself.

"Oh, as long as they're not spinning the bottle and kissing whomever it lands on, I'm sure they'll be fine." Lily offered.

"I fear for our safety, being locked in here for a hundred days." Remus sighed.

"I figure me and you, we're the sanest of the bunch. I think we'll be OK." she smiled.

"I hope so." he added.

"I mean, Sirius and James I think have already lost it." Lily continued, laughing. "They've resorted to Muggle games. Muggle party games. To keep them occupied."

"Which is saying something because this store's full of things they could do to occupy themselves." Remus started to laugh and Lily began to giggle with him.

"You know what I don't understand, though?"

"What?" he asked her curiously.

"Why someone's doing this? I mean, in the Muggle shows, there's a plot, a prize, stuff like that. It feels kind of like whomever's doing this has something against us or something."

"Ah, now, whatever gave you that idea?" the voice chirped.

"You've been listening to us?" Lily demanded.

"I have."

"What else have you heard?" Remus asked.

The voice whistles innocently, then answered. "Most everything. I mean, I can hear and see everything you guys do. Well, except whatever you do in the bathrooms, for obvious reasons."

"Privacy?" Remus asked, feeling as though the voice did not care much for their privacy if they could see and hear everything else.

"No, because no one wants to see Peter's naked arse."

"Hmm. You've got a point, there." Lily said with a small grin.

"Yeah, I do. Because I am all-knowing!" The voice cleared its throat and said, "They're done triple kissing by the way. It's safe to go back their, now."

"OK." Remus shrugged, not planning on going back to them. For they were now insane with cabin fever. Or so it seemed.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to go over there, either." the voice said with a sigh. "Oh, and Evans?"

"Yes?"

"Don't think too much into this, OK? Thinking gives you wrinkles."

Lily looked very harassed as the voice, laughing, shut off the microphone. "That's harsh!" she said, her eyes stinging with tears.

"Ah, come on, Lily. I wasn't meant as an insult." Remus pointed out. "I mean, he... she... it... was just telling you not to think into this."

"Does that mean that there is something to hide?" Lily asked with a mischievous grin. "And does that mean we should find it out?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Remus said, trailing off and shifting his weight, nervously. "I'm not into this detective stuff."

"I am!" Sirius shouted, running up to them. "Though, firstly, I need a goofy costume. And secondly, what are we detecting?"

"Nevermind." Lily and Remus sighed heavily. Sirius, of course, would make this much, much worse.


	4. The Impossible Challenge

Stranded

Heh, I made Gen, Sirius, and James triple kiss for a very good reason, to me, anyway: They're the three black-headed ones of the bunch.

Chapter 4: The Impossible Challenge

"Good afternoon, happy castaways!"

"Since when did you get so cheerful?" Celeste said, glaring around at anything that could hide the mysterious owner of the so-called disembodied voice.

"Since we're doing another challenge!" As one, the eight of them groaned loudly. "Oh, whine about it, why don't you? Anyway, you noticed the small boxes over there? One with each of your names on it?"

"Yeah... what are you going to do?" Lily asked, rolling her eyes. "Cut our heads off like in 'Seven'?"

"NO! That's gross." the voice shouted, the microphone feedback screeching. "What we're going to do is... the winner of the challenge gets their box. Inside is a present to your liking. I'm sure of it. The others don't get squat! MWHAHAHAHA! I mean, any questions?"

"What's the challenge?" James asked eying the speakers warily.

"Be nice to Peter for the whole day."

"NOOOOOOO! THAT'S UNFAIR! IT'S, LIKE, IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Well, the name of the chapter is The Impossible Challenge."

"Chapter?" Sirius asked. "What chapter?"

"The chapter... of the fic... you dipshit!"

"You're mean!"

"Oh, I'm heartless." the voice said, obviously smirking. "NOW MAKE WITH THE NICETIES!"

"Someone has anger issues." Gen muttered, folding her arms over her chest and sulking.

"Can't say much, though, can you, Gwendolyn?" Peter asked, deciding he was going to milk this challenge for all he could.

"Oh, shut up you vile rodent." she spat.

"Wow, Gwendolyn." the voice snickered. "That's a record, that is."

She glowered and said, "I didn't want the bloody box anyway! It's probably a gag or something!" she said, stalking off.

"No, there's good stuff in those boxes. Ah, well." the voice sighed.

One of the burly men grabbed the box with her name on and smashed it flat. The faint buzzing of a broken cell phone could be heard for a few seconds until he tossed it outside the store.

"Ooh, that's unfair." Sirius said, snickering.

"Ah, well, she'll get it over it." Marci said with a smile. "So... how long is this going to last, anyway?"

"Until 6:00 this evening." the voice answered sweetly. "And, no, you can't avoid Peter until then."

"Damn." James whispered. "What's in my box?"

"You won't know until the end of the challenge, if you're nice, that is."

"Screw that shit." James muttered, walking off.

When James's box was smashed, a Golden Snitch fluttered out, flying around the store and eventually going out the door as the man held it open for it, eying the Snitch as though it had done him some great injustice.

"Well, Petey," Sirius said, rubbing his hands together and grinning, "What shall we do today?"

"I dunno." Peter muttered, looking around. "Want to ride the riding lawnmowers around the store?"

"OK!"

"This is such bull." Lily sighed, sitting on the floor. "How are we supposed to be nice to that?"

"Evans, out!"

"What? I didn't -- "

Her box was unceremoniously kicked out the door and several of her favorite sweets littered the street.

"I know." Remus said, noticing the look on her face. "But what can we do about it?"

"Nothing, I guess." she sighed.

"Well, Sirius can keep him occupied. Let's just forget it." Marci said, pulling Lily to her feet.

Simultaneously, Marci's, Celeste's, and Remus's boxes were thrown outside. Remus's, containing one small vial of Wolfsbane Potion, shattered. Marci's, containing several different magazines, landed in the middle of the road. And Celeste's, filled with tiny little trinkets, smashed.

"Sorry, Remus." Lily sighed.

"It wasn't enough for one night, don't worry about it."

At six that night, Lily, James, Celeste, Marci, Remus, and Gen were hiding, plotting of ways they could get out of the store. "Let's just blow it up." Gen muttered.

"But our wands, Gwendolyn."

"But nothing! I bet they aren't even here!" she spat.

"Yeah, let's blow it up!" James agreed.

"What's going on?" Peter asked, peering around at them all.

"Nothing!" they all shouted together. "What'd Sirius win?"

"Hair care products. What else?"


	5. A Little Something for the Ladies

Stranded

Heh, sorry for the lack of updates. I had no idea what I was going to do with this. Until now. And before you say this is a random use of my newest obsession, this does have a point: To cause conflict between the boys and the girls.

Chapter 5: A Little Something for the Ladies

"Well, well, well." the voice crooned over the speakers. "Having a fun time?"

"No!"

"Well, I have something, or, someone, who might change the ladies mind." the voice said, ending with a maniacal laugh. "May I introduce...?"

The door flew open and was quickly locked again by one of the burly guards. But the four girls were staring in awe. "I am Luis Sera." the stranger said with a rich Spanish accent. "Former cop and resident ladies' man." He headed over to where the four girls stood gaping. "And now, I ask a very important question: do any of you have a smoke? And a light to go with it?"

"Uh..." Gen giggled nervously. "We're not allowed liquor or smokes for that matter, not since..."

_Flashback:_

_A drunken Peter staggers through the store in drag, knocking over several displays and nearly cutting his arm off with a chainsaw._

"But I've got gum."

Luis kindly passed and made himself comfortable with the girls crowding around him. The boys were not too happy with this.

"He's not that attractive." Remus muttered, looking away as Lily began to massage Luis's shoulders.

"Why, Remus, I dare say you're jealous!"

"I say you are, too." Remus countered, trying his best not to laugh as James noticed that Lily was the one rubbing Luis's shoulders.

"That's unfair!"

"Oh, well, life's a bitch." the voice said with a small sigh. "He'll be gone by the end of the day and you can confront your girls."

"I would much rather break that creep's face." Sirius grumbled, stalking off. "Who does he think he is? Me?"

"Well, he's done something you can't do." Peter pointed out, cowering as Sirius rounded on him.

"And that would be...?"

"Captivate Gen."

Sirius glanced back as Gen giggled and whispered something in the Spaniard's ear. "That -- "

"Sirius!" James said in a harsh whisper, grabbing Sirius's arm to keep him from going over there and beating the living hell out of Luis. "Not just yet. Wait until he leaves then you can start something with the girls."

"Why can't I just kill him now?" Sirius growled, trying to fight James's grip.

"Because, they'd kill you if you tried anything." James muttered, trying not to look over there. "And we really need you on our side right now."

Sirius grumbled a bit more to himself and stalked off. James turned to Remus said, with a smirk, said, "Lupin, I can't believe you! This is a whole different Remus."

"I know! And I kind of like it." Remus laughed. "But Gen probably won't. She loves the kind me."

"She likes the sexy Spaniard, too." Peter pointed out.

"Did you just call him "sexy"?"

"I did." Peter said with a shrug. "I happen to know that Gen loves accents."

"How?"

"Spying." Peter shrugged.

James and Remus glanced at him, never realizing he could be that useful.

"When this guy leaves, there's going to be hell to pay." James muttered, glaring at Luis one last time before stalking after Sirius.


End file.
